The Photo Autocracy

2011-10-17T17:19:00.001+13:00

The Photo Autocracy is Moving to Wordpress.....

The Autocrat is staging a bit of a comeback to blogging and he needs a fresh start. You can find all of the new posts over here. All of the 'historical' posts will remain here - anything good will be copied to the new blog.

Cheers!

Review | Reassess | Respond | Rinse & Repeat

2011-10-04T21:58:00.007+13:00

Lenticular cloud formation above Old Man Range, Central Otago, New Zealand

My (unofficial) mantra is as follows: nature photographers don't make great photos - nature does.

My job is to turn up on the day and not bugger up a fantastic photographic opportunity.

It is my responsibility to pack my gear, set the alarm clock (especially for sunsets if I get to sneak in an afternoon kip in the car) and at all times ensure that my intravenous caffeine kit is primed and ready.

That's about it - from there on in it's a mind game really; find the right spot, figure out a composition - test shoot it, realise it was crap : panic : find alternative spot : rinse and repeat until done.

The pressure really comes on when nature puts on a show - that's when you find out how good you are. A good nature photographer has to read the signs, pre-visualise shots and then be willing toss all of those pre-conceptions out the window when things change.

Review, reassess, respond - rinse and repeat.

No, it's not very zen like - but I find it thrilling.

Sunset Lenticular cloud formations above Clyde, Central Otago, New Zealand

The two shots on this post were taken on the same evening - I had been watching the cloud formations all day and figured there was a good chance of some sunset goodness.

Over a period of an hour I shot at least 10 top grade compositions. I had never shot at this location before and it was a mission - incredible light and clouds every where you looked but very few clean compositions.

By the end of the evening there were lens caps, filters, lens hoods and jackets spread all over the area - but somehow I came away with a bag full of shots - and a night to remember!

A funny little clip.....

2009-06-30T13:00:00.002+12:00

Regular reader (and only person who seems to know how to comment on-post) 'Closeburn' sent me this great little clip.

I feel like that guy everytime we take the kids to the playground :)

A comment on comments

2009-06-30T08:41:00.003+12:00

I have been hearing through the grapevine that readers have been having problems with the Blogger comments function.

I have looked into it and there was a setting buried deep within my blog preferences that restricted comments to registered google-ites.

Comments are now open to any lunatic, so hopefully it will be easier to comment on the blog (as opposed to the current trend of emailing me, calling at 10:45pm, writing me a letter, sending a note via carrier pigeon etc :)

'Kirsten', please note that the 3000 character 'anti - rant' option is still enabled.

TA

Google Ads

2009-06-29T20:49:00.009+12:00

I have been getting a lot of joy out of watching the automated Google adwords that appear on each of my posts.

When they are not playing foosball, or lounging in bean bags at the Googleplex rec-centre, hordes of gangly dweebs spend countless man-hours honing sophisticated algorithms that match ads to specific content.

Advertisers then automatically bid for placement on pages - the more popular the content the higher the quality of advertiser and the price per click goes up accordingly.

Subsequently, a well written and highly viewed photography post might attract ads by Nikon, Canon etc, and a well researched and popular parenting article may find Huggies trying to outbid Treasures for top billing.

Going by the calibre of advertising appearing on TPA posts it is clear that my posts are adjudged to be neither well written nor popular by the ad-bots - and to be quite honest I think it's hilarious!

If one could view the behind the scenes ad-auctions that determine the advertising on my posts I think it would look a lot like the Mos Eisley* bar scene in star-wars - where every cretin, degenerate and shameless grifter in cyberspace is jostling to peddle his crap on my blog. It varies from computer to computer but the results are generally as entertaining as anything I could write.

Just another busy day at The Autocrat's Adword Auction?

For example, Saturday's toast-post has resulted in ads for 'autism remedies for toddlers', 'feeding programs for angry children', 'herbal haemaroid creams', 'nail biting treatments' and of course - 'BNZ investments' - go figure!

Photography posts seem to unleash a tidal wave of 'become a professional photographer in 3 days' and 'free stock photos' ads, while anything that is 'un-labeled' or lacking in a central theme (most of my posts) just gets plastered with 'free sexy girls', 'sexy girls for free', 'free sex in [your town] with sexy girls' and that old chestnut - 'Bangkok ladyboy holiday'

I enjoy dredging up the crustiest dregs of the online advertising world so much that I have decided to try and 'game' the system and plant decoy labels on future posts to see what comes up.

We'll start with this one by reverting to the 80's and bagging on our poor old cold war nemesisesess (how the hell do you pluralise nemesis?) - as that just never seems to grows old for me!

Let's blog about my recent fictional holiday behind the iron curtain - I'd love to hear what ads turn up on your machines - please share it on the COMMENTS panel though :)

TA

labels: donkey, vacation, Bratislava, Ukrainian tractor tosser, rent a trabant, Stalin, commie bastards, Turkmenistan, missile crisis, cabbage soup, fish heads, gulag tourism, AK -47, legal partner in Moscow

* No I'm not a star wars freak - had to google that one.

I propose a toast - to toast

2009-06-26T10:00:00.004+12:00

Feeding toddlers is a nightmare - at least it is around here. The annual cumulative calories from binned toddler meals in our house would be sufficient to fuel the boosters on the next manned lunar mission.

The one sure-fire meal option that we have is toast - buttered, marmited or jammed - it is the only thing we serve that has a chance of being at least partially eaten.

As I was preparing the breakfast toast this morning it occurred to me that toast is not only the backbone of our kids' diet, it is also an important developmental yardstick.

Like the rings of a tree, toast tells a story to an informed observer. The cut, the spread, the crust all provide important insights into the recipient child - let me illustrate this further.....

Midget Cut: 4 way triangle cut, with crusts removed for safety - recipient is probably 6-14 months old - this could be the first non-blenderised 'solids' that the child has eaten.

Mobile Midget Cut: same as midget cut - except child is crawling or walking - mum & dad are sick of cutting off damned crusts and figure that if child is chewing on eukanuba stolen from the dog it is old enough to deal with a crust. Child is probably 12-18 months old.

The Freedom Fighter: child is now demanding more control of food (by rudimentary speech & Hitler-esque gesticulations) and wants same toast cut as mum or dad (typically none of that namby pamby triangle cut if copying Dad). Child is between 14-20 months.

The Big Boy/Girl: Don't be touching my toast - I want it as god intended - 'square' with no cuts. Parents rejoicing - can smell self service toasting just around the corner! Child 20 months - 3 years old.

The Curve Ball: Just when things are looking up - some buffoon (Saraaaahhhh!!!) makes round toast as a treat - this becomes de-facto toast format. Parents are broken, hollow visages of their former selves. Child is very demanding and probably over-pampered.

Toasted Train Wreck: the daily wastage - some things never change!

TA

Daarrrghh!!!

2009-06-23T11:23:00.004+12:00

I tells ye - she be cold down 'ere roight now!

'ow cold ye axes me?

Damned cold - I says - this cold in fact.....

No idea where I 'channeled' the grizzled cornish sea-farer from but it just seemed appropriate :)

TA

Customer Feedback

2009-06-22T08:33:00.004+12:00

I have had a little snippet of feedback from another of my regular readers - let's call this one Kirsten.

Kirsten relayed her simmering disappointment at the following editorial transgressions:

The unwieldy amount of photography content that has appeared recently on The Photo Autocracy.
The budding 'bro-mance' that she has detected between myself and 'The Canny Traveler' - replete with disturbing homo-erotic undertones apparently.
A total lack of parenting content.

I have known this Kirsten for several years and, in corporate speak, the one 'take-home lesson' that I have taken home (nurtured, fed, and pampered) is this.

NEVER, EVER let Kirsten think she was correct. NEVER, EVER - not even a little bit.

So it was by happy co-incidence that I had this next item in my blogging drafts bin for today. It is a splendid blend of photography and parenting with a recipe tossed in for good measure - should keep everyone happy!

Creamed Camera

I love this recipe that Jack came up with recently - It's perfect for a cold winter's day when everyone is cooped up inside.....

Take this toddler:

and one camera - I prefer black but silver will do just fine.

take one tub of this goop...

Mix thoroughly for 5 minutes - on a couch preferably....

Voila - done !

What could be easier?!

Flu Remedy Update

2009-06-20T08:36:00.007+12:00

You may recall that, a couple of weeks ago, I expressed my general disdain for the cold & flu remedies peddled by subsidiaries of big petro-chemical companies such as 3M, Monsanto & Dupont.

I asked my faithful readers for their input on this perplexing issue - remember, my main gripe was finding one of these that enabled me to function in the real world when sick - as all of their advertising promises.

Well, this week I received this homemade natural remedy from a long-time reader - let's call her 'Aunty Vicky'. It came via email so I thought I should share it in this post - as swine flu is looming.

So here it is - Vicky is in blue I am in red:

My suggestion is two to three lemons with manuka honey (only manuka as that has the healing stuff in it lol) in hot water....

Sounds great so far - a real earth mother is our Aunty Vicky, her Mum would approve I am sure.

With a damn decent slug of whisky...

OK, not so earth mothery, but I guess we are still dealing with naturally occuring products here - lets read on....

slug down 2 paracetamols and 2 neurophens (sic) with cold water beforehand, then sip the lemon, honey and whiskey hot drink...

Sheesh - I'm pretty sure that's only one narcotic short of the cocktail that killed River Phoenix, Janis Joplin & Heath Ledger......

I guarantee you will feel lovely in about 20 mins:)

I guarantee that I will feel NOTHING in about 20 minutes!

Apparently Auntie Vicky studied (and partied) hard at the Keith Richards school of naturopathy back in the early 90's - I can't see myself picking the kids up from daycare on that 'remedy'!

The search continues....:)

TA

Sisson Product Photography

2009-06-18T19:40:00.009+12:00

Hey I just realised that clicking these images opens them bigger - try it you'll like it!

The sisson - beautiful pictures of New Zealand - website is finally nearing completion* - thank God!!!

Countless hours have been spent grovelling to the over-lords at google - optimising pages, renaming images and re-working the descriptions for each of our 310 products into uniquely tempting metadata morsels for the 'spiders' and 'bots' to feast upon.

If any of the preceding sentence:

a) sounds remotely interesting to you.
b) made any sense.

I suggest that you sign up on this website for uber-dweebs that I found myself languishing on yesterday. Just don't expect to see The Autocrat trolling the forums with biting witticisms about metatag refresh rates, referring to google and yahoo as simply G & Y, or making suggestions on Alt- Tag optimisations - for the first time in weeks I found a site that I didn't subscribe to.

As usual I digress.

The final barrier to completion has had nothing to do with this techno-babble, it has had everything to do with our photography, more specifically, photos of our finished products deployed in the home.

We genuinely thought that this would be easy - given that we used to earn our living as commercial photographers. We also think that our products actually look pretty snappy.

Unfortunately after three or four attempts at shooting our fine-art prints, photo blocks and photo magnets at home we had exactly zero shots that successfully represented our work.

Both of us were suffering from a crisis of confidence. So we sat down together to analyze the shots. It rapidly dawned on us that our toddler-infested suburban residence was holding us back.

Although it is a nice house, not a single room will ever grace the front cover of architectural digest - or, for that matter, the back pages of remotely interesting homes weekly.

So today we loaded up the car and headed around to Mark & Sharon's house (yes the same Mark that seems to appear in 50% of these posts) to try out our luck there.

I am happy to report that three hours in their beautiful home yielded all the shots we needed and partially re-inflated our sagging egos**!

Now that's more like it! - one of Sarah's shots displayed in a snazzy environment

There are many more shots on the home page slideshow over at sisson fresh New Zealand photography - check them out :)

Cheers! TA

* to our dismay, we have learned that a good website is an 'ever-changing, dynamic organism' that is, by definition, never completed. For more information spend a week or two on the forums at webmasterworld.com :)

** despite outward appearances photographers have notoriously fragile egos - hence the abnormally high incidence of leather jacket wearing press photographers (its a metaphorical thick skin thing).

First Turns - Season '09

2009-06-14T17:10:00.013+12:00

I took my new (pre-loved) touring skis out for their maiden blast yesterday with DJ Marky Mark aka The Canny Traveler - deals on NZ attractions [observe the way in which I subtly interwove that gratuitous plug].

We opted for some 'slack-country*' touring from the Remarkables carpark, and what a day we had!

Stig of the Slopes**: The Autocrat's true identity remains securely hidden thanks to the shutter lag on Mark's panasonic lumix fx-07

This was my first attempt at 'skinning' - where you attach artificial 'skins' - think 2 metre long lint brushes - to the base of your skis and walk uphill (in the good ol' days we would have attached the furry bits of a recently dispatched harp seal pup to our planks, hence the term 'skins') and it was quite a bizarre experience.

I have been a plain vanilla (sans ice) downhill skier since I was 9 and the immutable laws of skiing gravity and snow slipperiness are well ingrained - basically skis don't go uphill....at all. So it was a slightly mind-bending experience to waltz straight up the hill with absolutely no back-sliding.

Mark has been doing quite a bit of touring this year already, as tax deductible research for his business I presume, so I was quite concerned about looking like a complete gumby - especially after my recent dice with death. My fears were quickly assuaged when the canny traveler discovered that he had left his skins at home - not so canny me-thinks - but I forgot my camera, so hey....

Boot Camp: the canny traveler works for his turns.

Anyway I got to feel disproportionately fit by taking the lead with Mark boot-packing it old-skool style and we both got some great turns in.

Overall, I likened the experience to mountain biking (when I used to like mountain biking) - you have the satisfaction of the uphill followed by the thrill of the downhill - awesome & much recommended. The plan is to do an avalanche awareness course and hit the back-country proper and hopefully bring back some unique shots from the hills - watch this space.....

TA

* as opposed to back-country - courtesy marky mark.
**stig reference also coined by marky mark.

Battered is Better - No not a discussion about blue cod....

2009-06-12T21:34:00.007+12:00

I love 'battle-worn' camera gear. I get the warm fuzzies whenever I notice that the black anodizing has worn through to reveal bare aluminium near a button or switch on my camera body. My pulse quickens when I spy a piece of rubberised plastic slowly dissolving after hundreds of hours of contact with my (apparently quite grimy) hands.

I can't profess to have reached this level of wear & tear but my 4 year old D2X is just starting to get good. No real monster dings or scrapes, more of a cumulative patina of pragmatic decay - including a very stubborn and quite crusty spot of egg yolk ingrained in the rubber at this year's toga party riots in Dunedin.

Toga threesome: glad you lot are having fun.... I'm still finding egg on my gear.

I can trace this admiration for deterioration back to 1997. Sarah & I were at a weekend workshop with Art Wolfe and Nikon had sent some kind of ambassador/legend guy along to show off 800mm lenses and the recently released F5 body.

Nikon F5 - creator of many a late night fantasy during the 1990's and possible vanquisher of bears

This dude was seriously cool. Not that he thought so at all - which, of course, is why he was so cool. He had the air of a survivor, a war-torn photo-journalist turned nature photographer who had seen things that would leave poseurs such as myself looking for a new career.

Apparently his pre-production F5 had been quite instrumental in his continued ability to breath. Casual (yet reverent) inspection suggested that en-route to the workshop, our man had extricated himself out of tight spot with a Kodiak bear - by using his F5 as a club.

Furthermore, It appeared that upon reaching his car he had succumbed to a spot of shock and, for reasons known only to him, attached his camera to the tow ball of his car and high-tailed it to the nearest bar (180 miles away in Anchorage).

His camera looked absolutely shagged. The finder prism was dented in, rubber was torn off, only about 40% of the black anodizing remained - but apparently it still worked like a charm.

Nikon couldn't have orchestrated a better PR campaign if they tried (frankly, I doubt that nikon marketing could never do anything that clever).

I was sold on nikon from that day onwards and despite my grumblings I still am. Their pro body build quality and performance in really tough environments is as exceptional today as it was 15 years ago - cue the Kodiaks!

TA

Man-flu remedies (Yep, I'm off-topic again!)

2009-06-10T13:21:00.006+12:00

Regular readers will be aware that I have been bravely battling a bout of man-flu for nearly two weeks now. Consequently, I have become very sensitised to the cold & flu remedy ads that are in high rotation on TV at present.

Over the years I have tried most brands to no avail. At best they leave me feeling mildly brain-dead and marginally healthier. The nastier ones generally find me crawling off to my bedroom fantasising about the peace of the grave.

I have never once taken one of these remedies and made a career-saving powerpoint presentation, built a tree hut for the kids, or as in the latest Coldrex ad, felt like busting sum phat beats wid' my (Eminem wannabe) homies!

Have any of you guys had a different experience? Can anyone recommend one of these snakeoil remedies that works?

I'd appreciate your help....boom...chicka...bow...boof...boof...lo-five...

TA

I forgot to mention......

2009-06-09T10:46:00.003+12:00

That our recommended New Zealand camera stores listing is now up on our site.

Anyone needing some new gear should check it out.

TA

My Next Nikon......

2009-06-08T16:18:00.013+12:00

doesn't exist.....

I have been waiting for nikon to build my next camera for about two and a half years now. They released the D3 about 18 months ago and followed it up with the more compact but equally capable D700. These are both superb 'full-frame' bodies, and they set new benchmarks in terms of noise performance , making ISO 3200 (and even 6400) a viable option in low light conditions. However, at 12MP they didn't address my primary requirement for an upgrade - more (and better) pixels than my venerable D2X.

If we were still shooting commercial work every week I would have been all over the D700, as its' performance for my University work and Sarah's available-light fashion photography would have made it outstanding value for money at $5400 (when released).

The D3/D700's High ISO performance makes it perfect for this type work.

For the majority of our commercial work 12 MP is the perfect file size - you don't require a Kray Supercomputer to keep the post production pipeline efficient and very few clients actually print larger than A4. Having said that we have seen our D2X studio shots printed beautifully as billboards.

12MP is more than enough resolution for most clients - if only they knew that!

However, the sisson fresh new zealand imagery range is a different beast altogether. For the past two years we have been shooting primarily landscape and nature and despite NZ being located on the edge of a tectonic plate it seems that our mountains don't move very much.

Hence, 90% of our work is done off a tripod at ISO 100 and we often find ourselves trying to slow exposures down, rather than speed them up via a higher ISO setting. Add to this the aggressive anti-aliasing filters on the D3 sensor and there is not a marked quality discrepancy between the D2X and the D3/D700 at base ISO settings.

Why the need for more pixels? Call it future proofing. As our business is developing we are discovering more demand for bigger and bigger prints. As each landscape shot is unique and unrepeatable, it makes sense to be capturing at the current 'state of the art' for your chosen format to allow for future use - who knows, Tourism NZ may yet come knocking for a billboard campaign ;-)

we've had enough of shooting beautiful models - maybe next time it'll be a mountain range...

So, for about a year I had been glued to the excellent nikonrumors.com seeking clues as to what Nikon's response to canon's DSLR offerings would be. Rumours flared up and died with each trade fair or pending media event. During this time Nikon released wierdy beardy 'multimedia headsets' for Japan only, more crappy software (please leave that to adobe), spent vast amounts on advertising 'Something Big' which turned out to be a washed up blues band playing at a wedding photographers convention (shudder), and to complete this cocktail of woe, they made the highest resolution camera in their range a coolpix (not cool nikon, not cool at all).

And then in late 2008 my spirits were lifted by three huge announcements. Firstly, Axl Rose finally set a release date for the, 14 years in the making, GN'R album Chinese Democracy (yes I am a proud Nelson bogan), Canon announced the 21MP 5dMKii with a $4,950 list price and (finally) Nikon announced the D3X*.

The D3X specs were impressive - 24 million beautifully executed pixels and excellent noise performance in a bomb-proof body (it has since been deemed the finest DSLR in the market by many photographers that I respect) - perfect! .....

Except for one minor detail. The price - an amex blistering $17,200 (I believe it was over $21,000 for about 3 days, until 'market considerations' forced a re-think).

Yep, $17k for a camera that will have a resale of $1,500 in 3 years time. $17K for a camera equivalent to Canon's 21MP 5dMKii at $4,950 and Sony's 25MP A900 at $7,500. Most importantly, $17K for a camera body during the most grueling economic climate I can remember. That's just not happening round here....

Axl Rose: the only thing crazier than the D3X list price?
So, we had a business decision to make about six weeks ago. Since the kids have been born, it has been only one of us shooting at any given time, so one main kit has been workable. With both of us now shooting together we need two complete rigs (extensive field testing has shown gear sharing to be detrimental to the health of our relationship).

So we bought a 5Dii. Yep, we snagged a pre-price rise body, a mint 2nd hand 17-40 f4, 24-105 f4, and a 70-200 f4 all for well under $10K from P&V. I can't be bothered doing the sums, but, considering that we would have been purchasing a similar suite of lenses for our notional D3X we must be looking at a first division powerball type saving on this deal.

Sure, I have some problems with the 5d and these will be detailed in my next post, but these are not $12,000 issues - maybe $783.96 worth at best - but it cannot be bettered for return on investment.

So the bottom line? I love my Nikon gear, I prefer using it to the Canon system, but we run a business. Nikon have about 6 months left during which to release a competitively priced, compact, high resolution body. Failing this, there will some well worn nikon gear appearing in the cabinets at P&V**. So come on Nikon give me my D700x or preferably a D700T (you know what the T stands for :-)

TA

* I have never even touched a D3X - simply out of fear that somehow I will concoct a rationale for purchasing one.
** I expect emergency board meetings are being scheduled at nikon HQ as you read this :)

Whoo Hooo!!!!

2009-06-07T19:28:00.004+12:00

I finally have an official follower of this blog - I am no longer alone in cyberspace!!!

The very seductively monikered 'Hariett dotcom' is my first devotee. Best not tell Sarah that I have a female fanbase!

Geez, I wonder who you are Hariett?????
:-)

Birthday Boy

2009-06-07T19:20:00.004+12:00

It's my birthday today. Even though I love banging out these blogs, I have realised that some days it is just nice to do sit around and do bugger all - such a luxury these days....

Consequently, I have maxed out my birthday credits and barely lifted a finger around the house, and even better, I feel absolutely no guilt.....I think the wine is assisting in the process :)

Here are a couple of shots:

Jack helping mum with my birthday (cup) cake(s).

A tired (and still a bit sick) me with Jack & India.

Normal service resumes tomorrow.

cheers TA

How Google May Save The Species

2009-06-03T15:06:00.011+12:00

I now know what it means to be a googly-eyed monster. I have been practically living inside google for the past two days in an attempt to improve our search performance at sisson.co.nz

The new site has been live now for about a month and we have seen some stratospheric improvements in some of our keyword/phrase results. For instance we are now ranked #6 globally for this exact phrase: 'We are excited to finally have our online store up and running'. Just don't type shop instead of store - or its page 17 for that one.

Likewise, entering; 'Todd and Sarah Sisson photographers queenstown NZ' finds us on pole position - that's right baby! #1 on the whole world wide web!

Unfortunately, we have found that not a single new customer has had the inclination or foresight to enter these rather obvious query strings into google. No, instead they seem hellbent on searching for things like 'landscape photos NZ' or 'photography of New Zealand' according to google's excellent keyword analysis tool.

Our old site had us firmly seated on page 9 (no, not 9th place - page 9) for those types of search phrases. Yesterday I gave up at page 22 of 'landscape photos NZ' - apparently we have been doing something wrong.

So I spent last night testing searches out against our 'metadata' and found the problem - I won't divulge the details, but the unfortunate result was a day spent in excel inventing key-wordy type stuff for each product (not keywords mind you, as google's all persnickity about them thanks to overabuse by Croatian Pornographers).

I have attached this screenshot for you though, as it reminded me of my first job out of University - ya reading this Angus???

So now to divulge my unified theory of google goodness - by which the world may be saved by a search engine....

OK, here we go, quickly:

I noticed quite a few Germans coming to the site. This is to be expected for, despite their well publisised attempts at global domination, they do seem to have a soft spot for ferns, penguins and seals - hence they like NZ.

Right let's do a google adword tailored to Germans I figured

I researched some common keywords for NZ and had a good laugh - seems most of Europe thinks we live in NZ Zealand or Zeland or SouthNZ and any combination thereof......

OK back to the ad - staying with google here, lets bang it out in google translate, no worries.

::Turning point::

The Germans have at least 16 different ways of writing 'landscape photo', about 5 distinct words for 'Penguin', 'photo' alone must have 25 options and the moment you type in a sentence it looks like the minutes of the Geneva convention.

So how does this save the species? Simple really, I gained healthy of understanding and respect for those people on the other side of the planet who are curious enough about nu Zeland to click on my ad for 'New Zealand landscape bandsaw penguins'.

Think about it. Tonight thanks to a few grams of code housed on a server farm the size of Westport we are 1/4 billionth more compassionate as a species - what can google teach the other 6 readers of this blog eh? - anyone?? Angus???

Auf Wiedersehen - TA

NZ Photography Hotspots - Mt Cook/Lake Pukaki

2009-06-01T22:14:00.007+12:00

My blog has segued quite dramatically towards becoming a parenting and relationships column recently. The web has enough of that 'content' already, so I thought I had better get some photography postings up before I find myself sharing my to-die-for pecan and maple muffin recipe with you!

So it is with great pleasure that I announce the release of part 1 of our 2 part Mt Cook photo-guide here.

We have also posted several shots from our recent trip on flickr ,so check them out. Everyone is going gaga over Sarah's shots and I am now feeling inadequate vulnerable and under-appreciated - think I'll go bake a tray of my incredible mocha banana brownies OMG they are sooo goooood!!!! I'll get the recipe up tomorrow ;-)

If you have found us on blogger, remember to drop by our website to view our New Zealand Photography :)

Man Flu Machinations (it's satirical Kristen)

2009-05-31T08:51:00.010+12:00

I have noticed a general lack of acceptance, recognition and understanding regarding the impact of the 'man-flu'.

As I lay tossing and turning in bed at 4 this morning, ravaged by this latest bout of masculine influenza, I turned my mind to understanding why we men get hit so much harder than women when afflicted by illness.

And I'll be darned if I didn't crack this mystery of the ages once and for all!

It's pretty simple really. We modern men operate at such a high level these days - seamlessly performing so many roles, so proficiently - that we are reaching, and often exceeding, the physical limits of our bodies.

To use an un-apologetically male-oriented metaphor, we men are like highly tuned sports cars - the Ferrari of the species if you will. Problem is, a mechanical failure in a state of the art engineering masterpiece running at 10,000 RPM is naturally going to be more catastrophic than the same failure in a RAV4 trundling around the Westfield parking lot. The Ferrari is going to need a lot more time in the garage, with a lot of specialist attention.

It's bad enough, seizing up and hitting the wall in top gear, but what really hurts us men is the sanctimonious derision we suffer through. If this same affliction struck women, we would have at least three national charities researching a cure, 'Hikois' demanding government funding and Petra Bagust and Mandy Barker would both have a T-shirt on the shelves.

However, we men stoically do what we do best - we go to the garage and get busy with the business of getting better, please society, just let us be.....

TA*

* it should be noted that Sarah has been very supportive of my recuperative process this week.

If you have found us on blogger, remember to drop by our website to view our New Zealand Photography :)

Of Boogers and Bacteria

2009-05-29T11:43:00.006+12:00

We're back from Mt Cook, after a reasonably frustrating week of shooting - dodgy weather combined with the requisite bout of daycare-induced illness which has cascaded through three quarters of the family now - with Sarah being in the unenviable position of being the sole survivor, stuck in a house with three lethargic and grumpy patients.

Being the 'last man standing' is almost enough to make you chew on a used kleenex so you can rid yourself of the virally infested Damocles sword that is dripping above your head when surrounded by sickos like this.

Illness is always a tricky one to figure out with kids. You never seem to see it coming, as they generally mask the early symptoms with grumpiness, irrational behaviour, spasmodic outbursts of tantrum-ism and thrown bowls of food. Like I say, you never see it coming, as it just like any other day.

It is not until 11:45 PM (invariably on a Friday night, to maximise doctors and pharmacy costs) when they awake, hallucinating with a 39º temperature and covered in snot that you put two and two together.

Poor old Jack was the second victim of this latest bout and even at 3 years of age, he gave no indication of his decline, other than an onset of 'laziness' while I was dragging him out of for a walk at dusk (in sub-zero temperatures). I drove the poor little fellow like an iditarod dog handler, coaxing him with promises of moro bars and hot chocolates before eventually doubling him up with Indi in the mountain buggy for the walk home in the dark (I did manage to get quite a nice shot though).

The next morning Jack sounded raspier than Judge Judy after a night on the town and was barking like a elephant seal that had ingested a rottweiler whole - 'laziness' explained.

As so often happens, I was next to succumb and that oh-so-familiar wave of guilt accompanied my symptoms as my energy levels plummeted and I struggled to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen - in a motel unit...... of course my symptoms are exponentially more grievous given the well-documented severity of the 'man-flu'

TA

The view from here (cont'd, cont'd)

2009-05-23T15:47:00.002+12:00

Sarah was planning a pre-dawn assault on Hooker Lake. The 'Jack alarm' went at 6 and the mission was aborted due to cloud cover (sounds like a Tom Clancy novel I know - but i'm bored).

It started snowing at about 7 and still is, though it is pretty much rain now. I love being in the snow as do the kids - until the realize how cold they are.

I must say that I can't think of a better place in NZ to be while it is snowing than at The Hermitage - pity about the shooting though - that's not looking promising!

If you have found us on blogger, remember to drop by our website to view our New Zealand Photography :)

Sometimes you just gotta wait...and wait...

2009-05-23T15:39:00.003+12:00

The Big Mountain has not been playing nicely on this trip - but last night things started to look positive - as the cloud cover cleared out of the valley and I headed up to Kea point in the hope of getting a nice mountain portrait.

A pesky bank of valley cloud kept regenerating right in front of the summit for about an hour, up until the last 4 or 5 minutes of light, when it cleared and provided this view of the mountain.

I often find that you just have to keep on waiting until the bitter end, as there is nothing worse than seeing a view like this in the rear vision mirror of your car :-)

If you have found us on blogger, remember to drop by our website to view our New Zealand Photography :)

The view from here (cont'd)

2009-05-22T09:26:00.001+12:00

This stellar shot taken from my phone says it all. Mt Cook is 'well 'idden' behind that lot. Yesterday the cloud broke at about 9 and it was glorious for a few hours - but no good for shooting.

Given that we have seen rain of some kind in queenstown for 19 straight days, I reckon that we are due a break - and what's up with that bloody great high out on the Tasman? - show us the love baby, show us the love!!

If you have found us on blogger, remember to drop by our website to view our New Zealand Photography :)

ahhhh the freedom of the road......

2009-05-20T13:51:00.003+12:00

I remember a time, 3 yrs and 4 months ago to be precise, when that would have been skis on the roof of the car. What changed.....?

And yes, that is a espresso maker in the boot - you try getting creatively motivated at 6AM at -5 C on a sachet of that casa del Brazil stuff you get in motels, it's essential equipment I swear! :-)

We'll try to keep you posted on the shoot via cellphone.

Cheers - TA

ps the buggies are a cutting edge 'roll-over' safety feature to be made standard on all vehicles in 2025.

Writers Block

2009-05-18T13:39:00.011+12:00

The view from here - inside......

and out......

I'm new to this writing gig and, as it turns out, greener than a leprechaun wrestling in lime jelly on St Patrick's day.

Sarah went away on Thursday for a school reunion. It must be quite an event, as she is away for 6 days. Subsequently, I am looking after our two toddlers and although I had surrendered to the fact that I wouldn't be doing any real work, I figured I could bang out a few articles and blog postings during the day and work on our website at night.

Unfortunately mother nature had different plans for my weekend writer's retreat - as it started raining on Thursday night and hasn't really stopped since. I should have listened to Armstrong & Miller....

The inclement weather has kept the three of us shut indoors for four days. In very close proximity.

It transpires that creative writing is really, really hard when;

Being asked for a 'bikkie' every 8 minutes
Being asked for juice every 4 minutes
Listening to Postman Pat stuff up 'special deliveries' all day long
Moderating territorial & toy disputes
Attempting to reduce the laundry pile in order to regain access to your hallway
Typing with both kids 'helping'......

There was one respite yesterday afternoon when the sun broke through for a little celebrity visit - it resulted in an event that, until now , I have only seen in the, seemingly bi-annual, 'Wil Smith-as-saviour-of the-earth' blockbuster.

You know the scene near the end, after Wil has used his superior intellect, looks and a modified garden hoe to vanquish the aliens/zombies/mutant frogs (coming this summer). The sun breaks through parting (apocalyptic) clouds and the surviving schlubs like me emerge onto the streets squinting and wondering if Burger King survived the invasion. Well it was just like that on our street yesterday (sans Wil walking towards the sun).

My neighbour Chris busted me up when he said "it was like being in prison". Truer words have never been spoken - except in prison you can always escape to your cell for a break... :-)

Damn....200mm is 200mm again !@$@#

2009-05-14T21:06:00.007+12:00

I was playing around with Sarah's excellent new 70-200 f4 IS USM today. It was mated to the 5d MKii and I kept trying to twist the flaming zoom collar past it's stop point as I just wasn't getting the 'reach' I am accustomed to when conducting my scientifically rigorous backyard lab tests.

Dagnabitall , the 5d is full-frame - I have been shooting DX for about 5 years now and the effective 300mm reach of my 200mm lenses has been perfect for the type of telephoto shooting that I predominantly do.

No big deal if you shoot canon as they have a nice looking 300mm f4 IS and 400mm f5.6 (no IS) in their range.

But I shoot Nikon - and would like to keep it that way, I plan to move up to FX as soon as the right camera becomes available (that's another post altogether though!)

Nikon's 300mm f4 is sans VR and the f2.8 VR is just too heavy to carry into the hills.

400mm is tough neighbourhood here in Nikonville if you are pecuniarily-challenged like moi.

Unless you have a sherpa-type dude and a spare $19,900 for the f2.8 or $13,900 for the incredible 200-400mm superzoom, you will just have to settle for the ancient, glacially slow and far from brilliant (at 400mm) 80-400mm zoom.

I notice that I am not the only one to feel this way nikon guru Thom Hogan has the following lenses on his 'waiting for nikon' list too.....

80-400mm f/4-5.6G AF-S VR
300mm f/4G AF-S VR
400mm f/5.6G AF-S VR

Oh well, we Nikon shooters like waiting......don't we (?)

TA

First sighting (snow) & first shot (canon 70-200 f4 IS)

2009-05-14T20:37:00.005+12:00

The Snow
The clouds finally broke for a few hours and we got a nice look at the snow cover on Coronet Peak. I was contemplating the idea of wrenching my gelatinous form away from my desk, heading down to Small Planet (where my new touring skis reside in the layby shack) heading up the hill for a run or two, and returning to a bask in the halo of mountainman glory that would surely radiate from being the first stud to bag fresh pow this season.

Turns out I was guzumped by my old friend 'Marky Mark' Orr, an international playboy and creator of the canny traveler who is based here in Queenstown at present. Maybe next year I will beat him to it (his first child is due in July). I will not reveal any more of my plans here, as Mark is the only confirmed reader of this blog at present :)

The Lens
Onto photographic things - the shot above was a handheld snapshot taken at f4/200mm on Sarah's new 70-200. I am blown away, as it is quite stunning - amazing detail wide open and razor sharp by my standards. Even better, it is light and relatively compact - Sarah really didn't want to lug the 2.8 version around and now that ISO 800-1600 is usable on your camera who cares - dial it up! I look forward to seeing more from this lens!

TA

My poor foot!

2009-05-14T12:11:00.002+12:00

Little indi (20 months) started hobbling around when I put her into
her gumboots ('wellies' for any poms reading this - no idea what they
call them stateside) on Tuesday. I thought she had a stone in her
boot, but upon taking off her tights I discovered this gigantic
infected blister - poor little thing.

I smoothly transitioned into full parental panic mode, assuming she
had been bitten by one of those bastard Aussie spiders that hide in
our undie drawers these days, and shot down to A&E. We'll never know
what caused it, but it wasn't an arachnid from the convict isles.
The weirdest bit was that the doctors wouldn't lance the monstrosity
for fear of infection (seemed pretty infected already to me).

Anyway things are getting better, and it burst of it's own accord
yesterday, much to my satisfaction.....

NZ Photography Hotspots - Moeraki Boulders

2009-05-13T15:40:00.004+12:00

I have just posted a short hotspot review of the magnificent Moeraki Boulders, a location I have had hours of fun shooting at.

You can find it here.

HDR?

2009-05-13T12:20:00.002+12:00

I keep getting asked whether we use HDR (High Dynamic Range) as a technique. The answer is 'sort of, kind of, not really and maybe (depending on your outlook)'. I have posted an article detailing some of the techniques that we use to finish our shots here.

New Article Available - The Art of Editing

2009-05-11T21:46:00.004+12:00

My first photography article has been published to a global audience (of 1!)

Find it here

Be the second person on the planet to indulge in my wisdom!

It's snowing!

2009-05-11T21:36:00.002+12:00

Winter has arrived for real here in Queenstown - hopefully it will clear nicely in the next couple of days to allow for some juicy mountain photography on the remarkables!

Meanwhile, I took the kids up the remarkables today to get them away from Postman Pat re-runs on Kidzone.....

Welcome to the photo autocracy

2009-05-10T09:31:00.007+12:00

Howdy, welcome to the photo autocracy - future home to my un-censored ramblings, ruminations and randomisations (as well as a fair amount of alliteration).

I will be using this 'forum' to keep you up to date with articles, postings and work in progress over at sisson.co.nz - our website/store. This blog is an opinion-piece, pure and simple, and while little or no effort will be expended in researching or preparing posts, I can guarantee with almost 50% certainty that 50% of what I write will be 50% accurate some of the time. This almost certainly makes the information on these pages about 200% more accurate than most of the crud that poses as 'expert advice' on the web.

So the ball is in your court - read my articles, edit out the bits you don't want to believe and take the rest as divine gospel - perfect!

What you will find me writing about in the future:

New Zealand Landscape photography advice
General photographic philosophy
Photographic gear advice and opinions (mainly nikon)
Our photographic adventures
Digital photography tips & philosophy
New Zealand travel advice
Anything else that cranks my tractor

Just a note on comments, although the blog is called the photo autocracy I have given a nod to the forces of democracy by enabling comments - think of it as a benevolent dictatorship. Feel free to post positive comments, I see little point in disagreeing with me as your opinion will undoubtedly be misguided and inevitably wrong. Hence, I will not be engaging in discussion, debate or good ol' fashioned flame-fests on the comments board.

Yours benevolently - The Autocrat